susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
God, I missed his penis.
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