Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
