Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
