So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
