Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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