what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
