I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
