Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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