You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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