Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
