i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
