Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
