What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
