walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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