I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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