He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
