We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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