Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
