I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
