what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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