How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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