Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
