I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
