He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
either way he was missing a nipple.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
