Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
