Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I just shit out all my problems.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
