the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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