I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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