is your mom at the bar?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
