he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
