the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
