I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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