he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
