She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
