you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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