another moral hangover. fuck.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
