it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
