The best revenge is premature balding
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
