This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
