Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
