I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
