he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
