therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
