Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
