i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
