I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
