I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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