you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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