just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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