Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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