Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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