I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
