but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
