it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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